An imagined conversation between the IDF chief and the army’s head of personnel.

In June the head of the Israel Defense Forces Manpower Directorate, Maj.-Gen. Hagai Topolansky, met with Chief of General Staff Gadi Eisenkot to present him with candidates for the position of chief military rabbi, to replace Rabbi Rafi Peretz, who is retiring. Several contenders were examined, the general told his boss, and the most natural candidate, coming as he did from the Military Rabbinate, was Col. Eyal Krim. […]

We’ve gained a chief rabbi who has publicly committed himself to values we believe in, over whom a dark cloud of illegitimacy will hang and who will do anything to convince people that he’s moderate, responded Topolansky. That’s why, unlike Ronsky and Peretz, he will avoid making provocative statements.

We will have gained a chief rabbi who owes you his appointment, the major general continued. He will work with us to smoothly transfer the Jewish consciousness branch to the Manpower Directorate and will preach to the religious soldiers, who rely on him, to obey orders if we have to evacuate outposts. No less important, you will score points among religious Zionists for defending their soldiers against the left, which will only help us carry out the reforms still ahead of us, like expanding women’s combat role.

And who knows, said the general with a wink, maybe we’ll get lucky, and Zehava Galon will go to the High Court of Justice, and that will nail down Krim even more, because he’ll have to submit a contrite affidavit.

Brilliant, said the chief of staff.